I am currently in Virginia spending some time just talking to God. I got here yesterday, Sunday. I decided to really enjoy the trip so I rode the motorcycle up. Don’t really like long trips on the interstate when riding the bike, so it ended up taking my about 5 hours–when it usually takes 3.
This has been an incredible day! As I was reading the Word today God was really speaking. One of the verses that really spoke to me today was “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it.” Jeremiah 6:16. I was installing some doors for my mom and lost one of the screws. I had to get on my hands and knees and feel around the rug to find the little screw! While down there the thought came–when you’ve lost something, the best way to find it is to get down close –most likely on your hands and knees where you can see the little stuff better and you’re way more likely to find what you are looking for.
I spent some time just going back to some of the old places today. I went to my grandmothers grave. The grandmother that I never knew. The grandmother that had my father with a man that I still do not know to this day. My grandfather. I wonder if I am anything like him? I’m sure an awful lot like my dad. I went back to my other grandma’s house. This is the grandmother that just died. I spent some time walking in the woods where I used to play as a kid. Nothing really looked the same as it did back then. In fact it was a lot smaller than I remember it in my mind.
The places that meant so much to me–now seem rather insignificant. The old barn where I used to play–is falling in and just filled with old junk. Nobody has been in there in years. I was to afraid to go in today for fear of snakes. I wondered, what kind of mark I will leave behind. What kind of memories will there be.
Even for my grandparents they sure left more than barns and land! As I looked at an old broken down farm trailer I vividly remembered hauling potatoes out of the garden behind the tractor. Or me and my pa hauling off the trash barrels that was filled with the ashes of burnt trash in that old trailer. I remember how much he loved God. How much God had changed his and Granny’s life. I promise I could almost hear him laughing with me today. I could almost hear my Granny just a talking as we could come back down that hill from the garden.
It was a trip down the old paths. Sometimes you need to go back to where you started to see where you need to go from here.
So here I sit trying to figure out what kind of mark God is calling me to leave. He has given me this awesome privilege of pastoring a church–but what kind of a mark are we leaving? What are we supposed to be focusing on–what needs to die?
To tell you the truth I just want to scream–OH GOD!! GIVE ME JUST AN OVERWHELMING SENSE OF YOUR DIRECTION AND PRESENCE. I AM SO AFRAID OF SCREWING THIS UP!
If you read this in the next couple of days–sure could use your prayers.
See you Sunday!!